I work in the trauma arena, and the word sabotage gets bandied around from time to time, so I’m going to break it down with a really quick, and new slant.

But before we look at self-sabotage, let’s take a quick look at its opposite…self-trust. The best definition I can find goes roughly like this. ‘The act of being able to rely, capitalise and act in your own best interests’. For such an easy sentence to write, you’d be surprised the number of people who, through no lack of trying, just simply cannot trust themselves, or their mind to act in their own best interest.

And here’s why. There are many ‘parts’ of our personality.

There are many ‘parts’ in all of us that beautifully make up the sum total of the Self. Some can be trusted, as some of these parts work rather well for us. These parts could look like: determined you, peaceful you, contented you, persistent you, confident you, and loving you, to name a few. Then, there are some parts that feel like they cannot be trusted, and that they appear to NOT be on our side at all:  depressed you, angry you, anxious you, jealous you and even violent you etc.

It’s like there is one body, but an ecosystem of different parts within, or fragments of one’s personality. We all have them. How does this happen? I am not sure to be honest. But I can tell you why it happens. For this, I do know about the brain. It is not particular smart, but it is highly protective.

So how does this lead to self-sabotage I hear you ask? It’s as complex and simple as this.

The war within.

When the whole of you, cannot accept these negative parts, there’s a strong divide that happens within. This divide sets up a sort of ‘fight’ against these negative parts. There’s no place for a solid level of self-trust when there is a war within. To fully trust, the Self, one must accept and work with these inner parts. Befriend them.

And here’s the other reason why.

It FEELS like these negative parts are against us. They can cause panic attacks, foggy head, digestive issues, insomnia and a quite a long list of symptomatic presentations. But, when we can fully understand that these parts are working FOR us, to keep up safe, a new relationship can form, and the fight within can disarm.

This simple understanding can alleviate symptoms such as persistent anxiety. When one can truly hear these parts, realise that they are all part of the same body, and become aware, more than that, really KNOW that these parts are truly looking out for us and our best interests, then they quite often become less noisy. These parts just want to be acknowledged, heard, loved, appreciated, thanked even, for working so tirelessly hard.

A relationship with all of you.

So, if you want to take your journey of the Self to another level, I encourage you to know these parts, be intimate with them, and feel into them. Get to know their WHY. You simply can’t fight them or disrespect them and expect that they will go away.

I would define self-sabotage as the ability to not be able to trust the fragmented parts of ourselves.

But here’s the thing. Nothing internal is ever against you. Symptoms, as annoying and destructive as they are, are just wanting your attention. So, when you can recognise their intentions, and their strengths even, you regain your empowerment, which can lead to a sky-rocketing level of self-trust.

With this self-trust, and when the sum of your parts can work together, things like self-worth, self-esteem and self-confidence can start to be louder and run the show. Now, that would be nice, wouldn’t it?

In conclusion, the more congruent and accepting you are, with all of your inner-parts, the happier and peaceful you can be. It is a process, and best allow it to be a process. A new relationship with all those noisy, vulnerable, raw, quirky and very protective versions of you. For if we can’t accept ourselves, we simply can’t accept others. And that’s a recipe for disaster.

If you’d like help forming a new relationship with these opposing parts, reach out. Rachael is a dedicated Neurolinguistic Programmer, Hypnotherapist and Trauma Specialist (TRTP) living in Thornlands, Brisbane. She has a passion for teaching her clients how to re-wire the synaptic pathways in the brain by encompassing the Mind & Body Connection and ridding debilitating conditions such as Anxiety, Depression, PTSD and C-PTSD once and for all with an incredibly successful & powerful 3-4 session process. Rachael is proficient in the language of the unconscious mind.
Rachael is also diligent in Soul Evolution and Self-Realisation, and is living her purpose of leading others to freedom from the constraints of their mind and past. This comes, first and foremost, from successfully transcending her own 3 decades of C-PTSD & traumas as well as showing great determination to heal 17 years of chronic Lyme disease. Head over to
www.mindbodyresolutions.com.au to make contact with Rachael today.